Painless For the Brainless
by Irhaboggle
Summary: All her life, Galinda was told never to waste time and energy on thought, but then Elphaba comes along and totally flips the idea on its head. Now, Galinda can't imagine why anyone would ever discourage the art of thought! But then the answer comes to her in time and she finally understands one simple, painful truth.


Galinda had been born a naturally curious girl, but her family didn't approve of it at all. They told her that thinking was unladylike and useless. They told her that it was pointless, silly, and a waste of time and energy. Why think when there was so much else one could do instead? Thinking was what the scientists did, or what people who had no money did, but if you _were_ rich (as the Arduenna-Uplands were), you didn't need to think! You could just live! You could enjoy your privilege, no thinking about how to obtain it required because it was already yours!

"Thinking is for the common folk," Galinda's mother had said gently after Galinda had asked her mother why the sky was blue, of all colors. "We aristocrats don't worry our heads with such nonsense and we leave that to the poor fools who use such questions to distract themselves from the woes of their own lives! But as we have no woes of our own, we have no need for such distractions! We can enjoy what we want when we want, no strings attached, and no questions asked!" then she sent little Galinda on her way.

The small child received a similar reception from her father the next day when she asked why some people had different skin colors than others or whether or not it would be feasibly possible to lobby for a bill that would end the illegal drug industry.

"Darling, darling! It's wonder that you are interested in such adult things!" Galinda's father had laughed, tickled by listening to his daughter ask about such big, important topics. "But you are only a little girl! Leave all of that to the adults, the men who lead this country, they will figure that stuff out! It's their job, after all, to fix those problems, not ours!" and then he waved away his daughter's questions, insisting that someone like her wasn't supposed to fret about topics of that nature. Her biggest concern should've just been what elitist club she was going to try and get into next, as if the three she was already in weren't enough. But then again, there was never enough grandeur in the life of an Arduenna-Upland.

"Go on, now, do something more proper and go play with your toys," Galinda's father continued dismissively. "And don't waste your time thinking about things beyond your level and totally unrelated to your path!" and Galinda was forced to skulk away, passively rejected by her parents again.

Although Galinda's parents were very good to her, it frustrated her how they never answered any of her questions. Instead, her parents would brush her off and Galinda would leave in a huff. Her parents, no matter how loving or well-meant, were too dull for her to enjoy talking with. But since she had no one else to converse with as she wished, Galinda was forced to heed their little mantra that life was painless for the brainless. Why think too hard when you didn't have to? It made no sense to exert unnecessary effort and, to an Arduenna-Upland, thinking was definitely unnecessary effort. By that logic, it was illogical to think, so they didn't, and Galinda was forced to play along. What other choice did she have? No one else she knew liked to think the way she did.

So for her whole life, Galinda took that little lesson as part of her very code of life! She did not think. Intentionally so, she muted her own curiosity and intelligence just because it was uncool to think and none of the other girls in her peer group even did it. But then she met Elphaba. The green girl had taught her to think again. Even after years of unintentional and vicarious repression, Elphaba had somehow broken through Galinda's little mental barrier and urged her to go back to the days when she questioned anything and everything.

"Doesn't it seem odd to you?" Galinda had asked, accidently going back to her old days of thought and question during a debate of theirs.

"You _can_ think!" Elphaba had cried in delight in response, pointing a shaking green finger at Galinda as her brown eyes grew impossibly bright and wide. Galinda, meanwhile, flinched as she realized what she had done. Against all of her years of personal and private training, she'd slipped up and reverted back, engaging in truly intellectual debate instead of just flaunting her beauty and wealth. She turned away as though bored to conceal her embarrassment, but Elphaba was grinning from ear to ear.

As time passed, Galinda thought more often and her brainless self died. Thanks to Elphaba's unintentional goading, Galinda was lured out of her little shell every time the green girl opened her mouth and, against her will, she began to think. She engaged in more debates and ponderings, higher level thought, and the concerns of beauty and wealth began to fade from her mind as newer and more philosophical thoughts took over. In time, Galinda began to realize that she didn't really mind it. Although she felt bad for vicariously defying her parents' wishes, there was a new kind of thrill that came with finally having the freedom to think and ask and actually have someone respond seriously instead of just brushing her off again, insisting that thought was not very ladylike.

Galinda, eventually renaming herself Glinda, and Elphaba grew closer and would often engage in friendly debates. Sometimes, they were just stupid debates about what was better (having breakfast for dinner, or dinner for breakfast?) while other times, they were far more serious (if performing some kind of service went against an individual's belief, should they be forced to perform it?), but all of them filled Glinda's heart and mind with excitement. It was fun to debate! It was fun to decide what stance she held and then be able to project it out to the public. It was kind of like the old days when she would flaunt her wealth and beauty, only now, she was flaunting her opinion, and that was far more fun and personal than any jewel or dress or hairstyle.

Glinda honestly could not see what was so wrong with engaging in thought, whether it was big and important or trivial and silly. It was fun and it was far from useless since so much good could come from a fertile mind, as she was learning. She loved thinking! She loved knowing and growing, gaining knowledge and experience. She thought about the history of Oz and how it was changing the present. She also thought about the political changes of modern time and how it might affect the future. With Elphaba, she would verbally spar on ways to fix these political issues and a bit of pride and hope filled Glinda's heart that she might be able to be one of the people to make a difference in the world. She had never felt so alive or hopeful! Maybe she would be more than someone's trophy wife, used only for looks and monetary gain. Maybe she would get to do as she liked, and get to be renowned by what she'd already had (looks and money), but what she got to bring to the table (her own thoughts).

But, in time, Glinda finally got the answer to her question as to why thinking could be bad. Elphaba had run off from Shiz to defy the country's tyrannical leader, the Wonderful Wizard of Oz, and Glinda had been left behind. As days turned to weeks turned to months turned to years, she never had a chance to see her best friend again. What Glinda did see, however, was the true cruelty of life, and now that she was thinking, she couldn't stop. She was forced to endure nightmarish thoughts of life, what is was and what it could've been. She hated thinking now, but she couldn't stop. It was awful! It was like once her eyes had been opened, she couldn't shut them again. It was terrible! After engaging her mind in so much mental activity, she was unable to undo it and was forced to witness every bit of cruelty life had to offer and, as a reflex by now, she could only think about it, ponder its implications and muse upon what had led to the event.

Even more years passed and Elphaba died, Glinda was left entirely alone then. Sure, she managed to overthrow the wicked Wizard and take the throne of Oz but, by then, it meant nothing to her. She hated all of it. She didn't want any of it. By that point in her life, she just wanted everything to stop, to go away and leave her be. She wanted the stress, the anxiety, the grief, the stress, the fear, the sorrow, the guilt, the pain, and everything else to stop, but she could not shut her mind to any of it. No wonder her family had warned her against thinking. They had been right all along that thinking led to nothing but trouble and wasted energy. Glinda was finally seeing that which they had hinted to her about in her youth and she regretted terribly the day she tried to insist that thinking wasn't half bad after all. And Elphaba was wrong. She had insisted that it was good that Glinda had the capacity to think. It wasn't good at all, it was very bad. Looking where thinking had gotten Elphaba! All thinking and using a brain did was lead to trouble. Glinda wept bitterly, mourning Elphaba and her old self both.

By the next day, Glinda had gone on mental lockdown and slowly began to recede deeper and deeper into herself until any trace of the wise and clever girl she used to be had vanished entirely, nothing but a mindless and careless puppet left in its place. Life really was more painless for the brainless because even though Glinda had gone back to the days of air-headed vanity, at least she wasn't in any pain anymore, right?

 **AN: Inspired off of a quote in the book that implies that Glinda might've been scared away from using her brain. The quote is from Elphaba and she says, "It's as if she's in hysterical retreat from things that are too big for her." It just made me wonder about Glinda's backstory and her history of going from an empty-headed blond to a pensive young queen of Oz.**


End file.
